2005-01-25 - 3:27 p.m.

>Thanks, Sis

Hmm. Rufus looks a little tired. Sleep, Rufus, sleeeeeeep.

A box appeared on my computer screen a couple days ago: an instant message from my sister.
"Ruf? Are you there?"
"Hey M! What's up?" I responded.
"Well, I don't know what all is happening at the wedding - like, if anyone is talking or what it is even going to be like, but if we do, I was wondering if you wanted to give the toast to the bride, err... me?"
Of course, I instantly said yes. I felt surprised and honoured. I thanked her for asking me. You know what she said?
"You're welcome. I wouldn't want anyone else."

Insert heartwarming observation about family here.

That really meant a lot to me, her saying that. Understand, too, that my family rarely says three words in a row that are not meant to tease or at least provoke laughter. It's not as if I have a rocky relationship with my sisters, we have really always gotten along (even when we were children, we were joined under the tyranny of my older brother). We have even (in recent years) started saying "Love you" when ending a phone conversation. But this, this singling out of me as particularly deserving of the honour of standing up and speaking for her, it is a big thing to me. I've never been the one that was asked to speak in my family. I was always the quiet one, sneaking off to lie on his lower bunk and read Farley Mowat books.

My brother was always the spokesman, the glib, older-than-his-years master of self-confidence.
I was in all the plays, he was in all the wedding parties. I gave the plaintive valedictory speech at my high school graduation, he reads "The Night Before Christmas" each year.

Don't misunderstand, I have never been jealous of his position in the family. I was always the one with dreadlocks or pink hair or corduroys that were more holes than pants. The aunts and uncles and grandmothers and all were a little wary of me, and I liked that.

It is just that it makes my sister's decision even more special. She could have left everything alone and everyone would assume that Big Brother would be emcee and give the toasts and no one would have hurt feelings. But she went out of her way to choose me, to give me a place in the ritual. She "wouldn't want anyone else."

That's pretty damn cool.

This glowing grey day is pretty cool, also.