2005-02-01 - 9:52 p.m.

>My Hometown Is On Fire

When I am driving through town, I always mistakenly imagine that the people on the sidewalks are my Diaryland friends. I have to remind myself that most of you live far away, and the rest, if I have ever driven past you, I probably convinced myself it wasn't really you at all.

This is a picture from my birthday back in November. It needs no context!

Bee has been out of town for the last few days, so I have been a little lost in my little timeless world of late-night candy feasts and uncomfortable couch pass-outs. When she's not around, I lose track a little bit.

I got a letter from an ex-girlfriend (ex from 12 years ago ex) this week. She wants to reconnect and rehash "the past." The letter was quite intense and emotional, recalling all sorts of things from our relationship when we were 15 and 16, mostly in a warm way, but with a definite suggestion that she has carried some kind of pain as a result of our young relationship ending (although she broke up with me, she was hurt that I started an ill-advised long-term relationship some 90 days later, and may have been insensitive to her feelings about seeing me with the new girl [who later cheated on me]). She has a daughter now (the letter-writing girl), and a 'partner' (that's the word she used, meaning common-law husband, I suppose). She wants to "rekindle our friendship" but I feel kind of uncomfortable about it, because although I would like to set her mind at ease that I remember her fondly and all that, I feel like it would be kind of unfair to Bee. I guess I am happy just having teenage memories, and a little wary about what kind of emotional situation she wants to put me in. It is just so far in the past now. But if I am the cause of some baggage that she is hauling around, do I not owe her some measure of compassion? It was kind of weird and out of the blue after so many years. I will write her back, I guess. But I'm not sure what to say.

My hometown is on fire! The horror!