2005-02-22 - 3:13 p.m.

>Don't Ask Me Why This Entry Is About Curling

Really, I can't explain this.

It's weird when you watch curling in Canada. There are all these curling related commercials that come on. And you know, it's weird just to watch people slide rocks along the ice. I feel that way about all televised sports, but at least I kind of like curling. It is... um, quaint? cute? And I have actually played it before, me and a bunch of senior citizens.

Commercial 1: I think this was the commercial for the "Heart Drops." Ah yes, know your aged and ailing target audience.

Commercial 2: This was for a curling exhibition in Regina. There was a nearly identical one for Halifax.

Commercial 3: This was a commercial for the canadian curling association. "Win!" this demonically driven man demands, "Win at... curling!"

I started perusing this well advertised canadian curling website and came across some gems of curling literature. To quote:

"Curling, at its heart, is a social sport. Not only do you have three teammates cheering you on, but every team you play against is part of curling’s fraternity. You shake hands before the game and again afterwards, join one another for a post-game soda and social. With every game played, your contact with the world expands, as the six degrees of separation become five, then four, three, two, one and, finally, non-existent."

I love that - "a post-game soda and social" - I am not making this up! My favourite part of this is the metaphysical shrinking of the world through curling. Finally, after the world has surrendered to curling, degrees of separation will be non-existent. In other words, since one degree of separation is a direct connection, zero degrees of separation means that we will all be the same person. We will have become some kind of collective curling hive mind.
And since we will all be a single curling-dominated consciousness, we will all be captivated equally by "curling fashion." I quote:

"Curling has become a participation sport for the fashion-conscious. Most of the top competitive teams wear matching pants and sweaters or training suits, complete with names for identification."

Matching pants AND sweaters!? And name tags too?!
I think I need to sit down.