2005-05-19 - 6:48 a.m.

>Do Not Go Gentle, Vlad

Well, Vlad died. I was a bit sad about it even though he was so short-lived and was just a spider. He just sort of curled up at the bottom of his jar and stopped moving. Poor little guy. He gave me a new appreciation of spiders.

Here I am in hard cathode ray light this morning.

I have a hard time owning any kind of pet because of the whole inevitable death problem. Even though they are bound for oblivion on the one-way express (as are we all), I can't help but feel wracked with guilt when they finally board that train. As though it is my fault (which it could be, of course). Why can't we all have indefinite lifespans? I don't mean immortality - I mean, why do lifespans have to be so well-defined?

I had a fish when I was younger. It was black-hued and one day it jumped out of its aquarium while I was at school. Found it dead. I had a frog. It leaped off into the night. Found it perfectly perserved and petrified under my bed. I had a turtle. One day, he pulled his head inside his shell and never came out again. I kind of swore off pets after Salvation (the turtle - not a religious epiphany, no, far more mundane: I named him after the Salv@tion Army). But then Vlad the spider stumbled across me. And, you know he had quite a few chances to get away, but life must not have been too bad under the glass, because he stuck around. It was nice knowing you, little guy.

This is our new green view from the balcony.

I am writing from the new place. I am loving it so much. Well, the shower could stand to have better pressure. But that is really my only complaint. It is roomier, closer to both Bee's work and mine, so bright and sunny (the sunset casts golden liquid swirls on the walls), a second bedroom, nicer kitchen, and our very own washer and dryer! Did I mention that already?

I am seriously considering a (gasp!) haircut. The mop is becoming a little too moppish. Passing women are giving me the "dear god, what is wrong with you?" look. Which is generally not a good sign.

These are Bee hands. I love 'em. Thankfully, they love me, too.