2005-07-13 - 1:50 p.m.

>Cloverleaf Overlook

This is me on zero sleep.

You know, you are lucky, Reader. By knowing only this brief and sporadic slice of me, you are unassailed by the horrors that are My Annoying Habits. I'm not referring to my tendency to point out "hilarious" alternate meanings for acronyms, nor my shameless tradition of making up ridiculous songs and singing them repeatedly, nor the fact that I seldom wear pants at home (that FTL on my boxer-briefs? It stands for Faster-Than-Light, ha ha, just kidding, it stands for Fruit of the Loom). Those things may be annoying enough, but they are also slightly endearing in an oh-that's-just-our-grandpa kind of way.

No, my Habits are more insidious than that. If you were to have a conversation with me, you would quickly find that I always end a joke with the words "just kidding!" I also use the words "cool" "like" "totally" "awesome" and "neat" with alarming frequency. I also do voices. And faces. I also drum on things with my fingers. And repeatedly throw objects up in the air and catch them. And I whistle.

Also, I swing. No, I meant on a playground swing.

Now, it is true that I am capable of clamping down on these sad displays, but this also means that I am often silent around people who have not been indoctrinated into the cult of Rufus. "You're so quiet!" I often hear, and I think: Be glad that I am.

There was a fire across the street last week. We smelled smoke and ventured out. This has nothing to do with the rest of this entry. Remind me to tell you about the fire I started sometime.

Of course, when it's just me and the Bee, there are no holds barred. And somehow, I have yet to drive her away. Whenever this occurs to me, I realize how amazing it is that she has not run screaming from my presence straight into the arms of a better-trained social scientist.

I sure do love that girl. You know, Reader, I believe I am the lucky one.

Bee tells me that this is deadly nightshade. Don't eat it, okay?