2005-11-17 - 12:31 p.m.

Rufus Exists!
Amateur photograph provides definitive evidence
VICTORIA - Amateur photographer Onum K. Surf reports that he "nearly had a heart attack" when he crossed paths with the horrific Rufus-beast Thursday morning in Surf's bathroom. Skepticism has routinely greeted claims of Rufus-spottings, but such unsubstantiated reports have become so numerous in recent years that those uninformed on the subject of the no-longer-mythological creature have become rarer than Rufus itself.

President of the Center for Paranormal Research and Rufus Studies, Mr. Murf Sunko, points out that "it was only a matter of time before someone would walk in on the Rufus-beast taking a shower," adding only that he was glad it wasn't him...